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You know why you don’t have girlfriend?

Posted by Jambo Jason in Asian Odyssey 2006
October 19th, 2006

After a crazy day in Bangkok of temples and being dropped at tailors and jewelry factories by my tuk tuk driver, we awoke at five in the morning to make our flight out to Siem Reap, the home of Angkor Wat. At the airport we hopped on the back of two motor bikes and headed into town. Cambodia is an interesting country. On one side of the road are giant hotels with all the amenities. On the other side, tiny shacks with a moat where the people grow their fish to eat.

Our drivers offered to take us around Angkor for the day for a very modest price (modest by our standards not by theirs). The ruins of Angkor are absolutely mindblowing. We don’t have our cameras at the internet cafe, but there’s somewhere in the range of 300 pictures we took. But you’ll enjoy the faux-hawk monkeys. And the video of us calling Angkor crazy town, and a couple local wanting to know why we think they’re crazy.
Whenever our drivers dropped us off to check out another site, we were immediately accosted by young Cambodian girls hawking their wares. Bracelets 10 for $1, postcards, everything. It was like a 99 cent store in the middle of nowhere.

And these girls were good. So adorable you know why Angelina Jolie had to bring one home. And they were persistent. They wouldn’t let you go without promising to buy something on your way out. And they remember you. They remember your name.

One encounter went a little something like this:
Them: “Scarf for $1″
Us: “No, thank you”
“Why?”
“I don’t need a scarf”
“For your girlfriend back home?”
“I don’t have a girlfriend”
“You know why you don’t have girlfriend?”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t buy my scarf. You give scarf to friend, you make her girlfriend”

That’s how good they are. At least I now know why I don’t have a girlfriend.

After getting all “watted” out we headed back to the hotel for a shower and naps. Our same drivers picked us up and took us to an awesome local restaurant. We were the only farang (foreigners) there. But they treated us well, the food was awesome, and we had a great time hanging out with our drivers. They reminded us a little bit of us, except Cambodian. If any of you ever come to Angkor, let us know and we’ll give you the names of two great guides.

And now I’ll tell you now why I don’t have a girlfriend in Thailand. Thai girls are incredibly difficult to talk to. Not because they are coy or they lack English skills, but because you just don’t know if they’re “working girls.” And then you don’t even know if they’re actually girls. I saw my first topless girl of the trip on the beach, only on closer inspection, was not a natural woman. They’re everywhere, and at the end of the night as all the bars close, they swarm the farangs like Cambodian girls. Ever had your nuts grabbed from behind by a possible boy, but definite prostitute, on the streets of Thailand? I don’t recommend it, but it’s something you sometimes just can’t avoid. Like tuk tuk drivers, tailors, and ping pong shows.

5 Responses to “ You know why you don’t have girlfriend? ”

  1. Trannies are a tough crowd– I’m glad that you boys are avoiding them. Back in ‘nam, I ended up falling in love with one and it ended up breaking my heart (and my confidence).

    Just some friendly advice. You be careful over there now.

    RB

  2. Oh you boys! Always getting tinto trouble with the girlie boys! You know why you don’t have a girlfriend? Because you get your balls grabbed by “pros” and not hot european girls on topless beaches….get with the program Sweethearts! :) Anyway-glad to see you are still alive and well. Miss you both and my love to you as well!

    Smooches!

    Mareski

  3. Hey boys.

    Turns out, beside many woderful memories, I brought home a intestinal parasite. Maybe the Chicken I bonked on the head gave it to me. Quid Pro Quo . .

    Be safe over there boys. Ill post some more pics soon. Went to a job interview today and nailed it.

    Sooo WAT (eeyeah)!

    Adam

  4. Brian, now you can come back to Walker Sands with some new sales tips.

    Hope Thailand is fun and that you are meeting hot blind women :)

    Lori

  5. Hi Brian,

    San

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